Friday, September 7, 2007

Brilliant New Way To Paint A Room

I believe I mentioned that I have a disease by the name of uncordially interruptive thoughtsinitis. I believe that the easiest way to explain this may be by mentioning a very talented redneck comedian, Bill Engvall. He's got to be my favorite comedian, this man, oh goodness... But, there is one CD that mentions his weird thoughts. Everybody gets weird, random, and totally pointless thoughts. The difference between 'everybody' and people like myself and Bill Engvall... Is that most people keep them to themselves. Bill and I, why we tend to express these random thoughts. And I believe that my case of UIT is more serious than most.

I have been considering painting my room- when we moved into this house almost 3 years ago, the room was painted lavender with a glorious pansy-purple trim. To be honest, purple just really isn't my color. So we painted over it a tan- I should also mention that we have yet to paint the trim a rich walnut color, so I have a brownish room with pansy-purple trim.


But we tried to... skip a step. What'd you say? Cheat? Nawwww.... Instead of texturing (it was never textured, they just painted over the sheet rock) my room (which is about 12'x14') we used this texture that you pour out of a bag and into your can of paint. But it doesn't work, because the texture is very sparse across the walls; there's alot of it in one spot, and almost none in the other. Plus, I don't like the color I picked out.

Hey, I'm female, it's my perrogitive to change my mind!

But I dread to think of moving all that furniture again, dragging out all those supplies, then proceeding to texture and paint. It will take about 3 days- 3 days of sleeping either on the floor, the couch, or in a room drugged with paint toxins.

So I got this brilliant idea- a new, unique, time-consuming and energy-efficient way to paint my room. Listen closely now...

Step 1: Attach dog leash or similar rope-like material to each individual panel on ceiling fan- be sure the motor of the fan is powerful, and the knots are tight.

Step 2: Tie cans of paint (colors of your choice) to the end of each piece of rope; be sure the knot is nice and snug.

Step 3: Drill as many holes as you wish, probably between 3/4 inch and 1 inch wide. Turn fan on HIGH.

Note: Remove yourself from the room before the paint has a chance to fly, and it might be a good idea to remove all furniture and other items you desire to keep from the room before you turn on the ceiling fan. What? I should have told you this before? Oh, yeah, well... err...

You think it'd work? Say what? Oh, come on guys, where's your sense of individuality..!..?

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