Life According To A Ranch Kid: Brilliant New Way To Paint A Room

Friday, September 7, 2007

Brilliant New Way To Paint A Room

I believe I mentioned that I have a disease by the name of uncordially interruptive thoughtsinitis. I believe that the easiest way to explain this may be by mentioning a very talented redneck comedian, Bill Engvall. He's got to be my favorite comedian, this man, oh goodness... But, there is one CD that mentions his weird thoughts. Everybody gets weird, random, and totally pointless thoughts. The difference between 'everybody' and people like myself and Bill Engvall... Is that most people keep them to themselves. Bill and I, why we tend to express these random thoughts. And I believe that my case of UIT is more serious than most.

I have been considering painting my room- when we moved into this house almost 3 years ago, the room was painted lavender with a glorious pansy-purple trim. To be honest, purple just really isn't my color. So we painted over it a tan- I should also mention that we have yet to paint the trim a rich walnut color, so I have a brownish room with pansy-purple trim.

Beautiful.

But we tried to... skip a step. What'd you say? Cheat? Nawwww.... Instead of texturing (it was never textured, they just painted over the sheet rock) my room (which is about 12'x14') we used this texture that you pour out of a bag and into your can of paint. But it doesn't work, because the texture is very sparse across the walls; there's alot of it in one spot, and almost none in the other. Plus, I don't like the color I picked out.

Hey, I'm female, it's my perrogitive to change my mind!

But I dread to think of moving all that furniture again, dragging out all those supplies, then proceeding to texture and paint. It will take about 3 days- 3 days of sleeping either on the floor, the couch, or in a room drugged with paint toxins.

So I got this brilliant idea- a new, unique, time-consuming and energy-efficient way to paint my room. Listen closely now...

Step 1: Attach dog leash or similar rope-like material to each individual panel on ceiling fan- be sure the motor of the fan is powerful, and the knots are tight.

Step 2: Tie cans of paint (colors of your choice) to the end of each piece of rope; be sure the knot is nice and snug.

Step 3: Drill as many holes as you wish, probably between 3/4 inch and 1 inch wide. Turn fan on HIGH.

Note: Remove yourself from the room before the paint has a chance to fly, and it might be a good idea to remove all furniture and other items you desire to keep from the room before you turn on the ceiling fan. What? I should have told you this before? Oh, yeah, well... err...

You think it'd work? Say what? Oh, come on guys, where's your sense of individuality..!..?

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Bible Versezz

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

-2 Corinthians 12:9-10

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Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or recieved or heard from me, or seen in me- put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

-Philippians 4:8-9

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Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverence; perseverence, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

-Romans 5:3-5

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We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in His death we will certainly also be united with Him in His resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done awawy with, that we shold no longer be slaves to sin.

-Romans 6:2-6

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Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, for you are not under law, but under grace.

-Romans 6:13-14

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Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending us his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.

-Romans 8:1-3

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You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things. Now we know that God's judgement against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgement on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgement?

-Romans 2:1-3

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I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us.

-Romans 8:18

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It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy.

-Romans 9:16

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But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this?" Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposese and some for common use?

-Romans 9:20-21

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"By myself I can do nothing. I judge only as I hear, and my judgement is just, for I seek not to please myself, but Him who sent me."

-John 5:30

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Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

-Matthew 10:37-39

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Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

-Colossians 3:16-17

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God is just, He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you.

-2 Thessalonions 1:6

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Lord, who may dwell in Your sanctuary? Who may live on Your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart, and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong, and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the Lord, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury, and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken.

-Psalm 15

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I am still confident of this; I will see the fondness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heed and wait for the Lord.

-Psalm 27:13-14

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I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind, and therefore have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

-Lamentations 3:19-24

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Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

-Romans 5:18-19

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For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life!

-Romans 5:10

Life According To A Ranch Kid

Friday, September 7, 2007

Brilliant New Way To Paint A Room

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